Today, I had one of those WOW moments in life but first I need to contextualize. During one conference last December I was on the stage to talk about “allyship”. I could also share one of my experiences of micro-aggression.
I shared with the audience couple of moments when I was asked if I was the volleyball coach of the fancy sports club that I am actually a member.
First time people asked me I didn’t really know what to answer. I needed to digest it. In my inner thoughts anyone could ask you if you are the volleyball coach, couldn’t they? However, if you take the overall picture things can be taken differently. In the same club, once one employee called me Obama in a friendly manner. When I asked him why he called me Obama, he answered me that it’s because I am the only black member in the club. That shocked me. In addition to that, employees of the club are also required to wear the club’s uniform and I never wore that.
The second time people asked me if I was the volleyball coach, after I have digested it, I had an answer. My answer was asking them back – “Why? Why do you think I am the Volleyball Coach?” They had no clear answer, they stuttered – “It’s because you look fit.” Trying to make up of it. So I asked them back – “Can’t a member of this club be fit as well?” They got blushed and I could see in their faces they could have asked differently.
Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong in being a volleyball coach, but in that context, people were unconsciously putting me as an employee of the club, putting me at a “submissive” position comparing to their own. Moreover, in the end of the day, the question could always have been: Are you also a member of this club? (Are we equals?).
Today, I received in the office a FedEx package with a gift from someone I would never thought about in life. That’s because it’s someone I met for the first time during that conference with short interaction and never met again.
John Pinette, VP of Global Comms of Facebook, sent me a customized sport jersey with the letters ‘NOT THE FUCKING VOLLEYBALL COACH’ that I will be glad to use at my fancy sports club.
Thanks, John! That was completely unexpected. A moment that I will bring to life. An inspiring act that made me instantly think of how can I give people WOW moments like that. An outstanding way of starting the year.
People deserve respect, people deserve WOW moments!